Own Your Power to Break Free from Work That Drains You
Let me be blunt — life is too short to spend it stuck in a job or business that drains your soul. I’ve seen too many people settle for misery disguised as security, telling themselves, “This is just how it is.” That’s a lie. You have the power to rewrite your story, to break free from the chains of limiting beliefs that keep you trapped.
At my events, I say, “If you can’t, you must.” When you’re unhappy at work, that’s your signal to decide — will you stay stuck, or will you take massive action to create a life and career that lights you up? This blog is your call to own that power and start building the future you deserve.
The costs of employees being unhappy at work
Year over year, the statistics are staggering. Most people (currently 66% in the U.S. and over 80% globally) are disengaged or highly disengaged at work. This disengagement can be translated to boredom or misery – or worse!
For companies, the costs of employees being unhappy at work are heavy and equates to billions of dollars in lost productivity. For the people who are disengaged and not happy at work, this is nothing short of life stifling. Most of us spend more than half of our waking hours working or doing work-related activities. That we are anything less than fulfilled is championing mediocrity and cheating ourselves out of our best possible lives.
Although this might sound like doom and gloom, don’t fret! If you constantly find yourself saying, “I am so unhappy at work,” there are solutions. In fact, there is a simple strategy and accompanying framework that can get you out of the doldrums and into the career you’ve always wanted.
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The way that most of us are taught to think about careers can be called a “building block” or a “logic-ing” strategy. We go to school. We study something that we have some interest in. We have an internship or two. Then, it is time to get a job. We scan the market and ask ourselves what can we logically do with the knowledge and experience we have. We lock in on a solution, and we begin working without ever really taking into consideration that we may be unhappy at work.
A couple of years pass, we amass more skills and experiences and we ask ourselves what we can logically do with the new knowledge and abilities. We scan the market, lock in on a logical solution and repeat the cycle. The problem with this strategy is that if you are like most and made any decisions about your career early on that weren’t particularly good or are no longer in line with your values, all you’re doing is compounding bad decisions on top of bad decisions. By never really thinking about your passions or what you love to do, you’re dooming yourself to be perpetually unhappy at work.
A much more effective strategy is planting your flag. This requires taking a few steps back and asking some critical questions including, “How do I want to be in the world?” “What do I want to create?” “How do I want to use my life?” “What kind of impact do I want to have?” You also need to take a look at what drives you. When you have a true purpose behind your decisions, you can align them with your values and ensure that you are always moving in a direction that will fulfill you.
You then design these items out by hand, in Powerpoint oron whiteboards and then align your skills, resources and talents behind creating THIS destination.
Framework
How do you build what you’ve designed and how do you use this to ensure you will never be unhappy at work?
The three-part moonshot strategy to creating a fulfilling career is the same every single time you decide to embark on the journey. It works whether you’d like a promotion at your current job, would like to do the same thing at a different company down the road or if you want to quit investment banking and go sell baskets in the rainforest. Basically, it can be recreated to fit any purpose and is the perfect solution to being not happy at work.
Commit
Truly committing to creating a more fulfilling career is the crucial first step. Commitment can come proactively by listening to that quiet voice in your head that asks, “Is this all there is? Could there be something more?” Once you’ve identified your purpose and drive, these decisions usually come much easier. If your current job does not align with your values, you’ll always be unhappy at work. Identifying this as the reason will help you commit to something new.
This is what happened when I quit the corporate world just over five years ago. I knew that there was something else waiting for me and that my feelings of “I am so unhappy at work” did not need to continue. To increase my commitment, I explored both what I, the world and my family would gain by me creating the change and what I would lose out on if I didn’t make the move. Tony often says that humans are motivated by pleasure and pain. Putting the two together can be a powerful commitment strengthener.
Commitment can also be forced by a lay-off, downsizing, firing or family move. Either way, commitment is the first critical piece.
Create
Once one has committed to making a change, then comes the real fun – getting into action and creating a new career based on your values that drive you.This is when you can truly start feeling the possibility of never being unhappy at work again.
The first component of this is self-discovery. More than knowing the “what” one wants to build, it is understanding the “why.” A great place to begin to clarify the things we value most is the design of your moonshot. Are you looking for adventure, freedom, security, teamwork or impact? Creating an extraordinary life means doing it on your terms and no one else’s. What does your design tell you? These values are then used as filters to rank potential new opportunities and ensure your new career is in line with your values.
Next comes community building. We reach out to people, whether we know them directly or not, who can help us gather the information and insights we need to determine if a potential career path is aligned with the things we value most.
Then comes the part of creating a fulfilling career that people usually don’t like to talk about. These are the fears we have about stepping into the unknown and the assumptions we have about what is or isn’t possible. Assumptions, which are all rooted in fear, probably play the biggest role in keeping us from the career we want to have. Assumptions are the precursors to those limiting beliefs that kept us unhappy at work for all those years. I’m too young. I’m too old. I’ve never done it before. I don’t know the right people. I don’t have access to capital.
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Breaking Free: Overcoming Limiting Beliefs to Create Work You Love
Overcoming limiting beliefs about your job or business starts with challenging the assumptions that keep you stuck. A common one I hear is, “I can’t leave this job because I have bills to pay.” But ask yourself—are you willing to sacrifice your happiness for a paycheck?
The truth is, the job you have today is rarely the only option that can provide financial security. We often trap ourselves in a false choice: be unhappy but “safe,” or risk everything for happiness. The reality is there are countless ways to create both financial freedom and fulfillment. Define your minimum acceptable outcome, then commit to pursuing opportunities that meet or exceed that.
Remember, success comes not from clinging to who you were but from stepping fully into who you’re becoming. I coached an entrepreneur who struggled to attract investors because she kept telling the story of her past achievements instead of the vision and impact of her current venture. The moment she shifted her narrative to focus on her future potential, everything changed. Your story is your power—own it, and watch your work life transform.
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Once you’ve created the next new and fulfilling career move for yourself there is one more critical step, which is to contribute.
No good story ends when the hero or heroine wins the war or slays the dragon. It ends when the protagonist goes back to the community from whence they came to share the bounty of what they’ve won. This is what will truly ensure that being not happy at work will never be part of your new endeavor and that your career will be full of purpose and meaning.
So, in this case, ask yourself how and to whom you can contribute. Can you mentor someone who is on a similar journey to help them shorten their path? Can you provide critical insights and information to others who are looking to enter your industry? How can you strengthen the community that helped you create the opportunity you now have?
Once you have committed, created and found a way to contribute, you have truly created a dream career and will never again utter the phrase “I am so unhappy at work.”
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Decide Today to Create Work That Fuels Your Greatness
Here’s the truth: your unhappiness at work is not a life sentence — it’s a wake-up call. You don’t have to wait for the “perfect” moment or the “right” opportunity. You create your breakthrough by deciding, committing, and taking relentless action.
Remember, “The quality of your life is the quality of your decisions.” Choose to stop settling. Choose to pursue work that energizes you, challenges you, and aligns with who you truly are. When you own that choice, you don’t just change your job — you transform your entire life. Now go make it happen.
